Isolation is a threat to your health. According to the U.S. Surgeon General, loneliness can be as detrimental to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It ties in with everything that we talk about here on this blog. The holistic aspect of owning your mind and body’s health. Isolation is antithetical to that health.
I blame the cultural zeitgeist for setting up fallacious expectations. You’ve been reading, listening, watching people accept that aging is a slow march. Poets write about it with finality. Online salesmen use it as a way to strong-arm you into making a bad financial decision. There’s an urgency behind the thought of the slow march. And sometimes, people will try just about anything to reinforce that idea. Whether they call it a quiet retreat, you becoming more distinguished, or ‘getting wise with the years.’
I’ll tell you what it is, plain and simple.
It’s a gradual pulling away from this, and this includes drifting away from conversations, losing touch with one’s friends, starting to skip social gatherings, and spending more and more time by yourself. It is not good for your health, because, frankly, it is not a state of mind. It’s a symptom of giving up.
And this ties in with research about several illnesses. A study published in the Journal of American Medical Association Psychiatry states that socially isolated seniors have a 50% higher risk of developing dementia. Another study, this one from Harvard, tracked nearly 7,0000 people over nine years and discovered that those who were socially engaged lived longer, even when accounting for other health factors.
I recently read something really powerful. It goes, “our stories dictate our biology.” When you are isolated, your body goes on high alert. Cortisol—a really infamous stress hormone—spikes. Inflammation increases. Your immune system weakness, making you vulnerable to everything from the common cold to chronic diseases. Your brain, left without the constant stimulation of social interaction, becomes dull. As a result, memories fade faster. Cognitive decline speeds up. All of this turns into a chain reaction that we, at that age, can simply not afford.
I always write my blog from a place of hope and action. And here is where I stop writing about the consequences of isolation. I want to tell you that there is time, and ample amounts of it, to remedy isolation and begin providing your mind and body the love, connection, and social element it desires to thrive better.
It starts when you stop thinking of socializing that just happens and start thinking of it as something you choose to do, like eating right or exercising.
How Socializing Changes Your Health
Social engagement has real, measurable effects on your body and mind. Here’s what happens when you stay connected:
Your Immune System Gets Stronger: According to Carnegie Mellon University, people with strong social ties are less likely to catch colds, even when directly exposed to the virus. Your body’s defense system thrives when it knows it’s part of a community.
Your Heart Stays Healthier: The American Heart Association has found that loneliness is a significant risk factor for heart disease and stroke. Staying social keeps stress levels lower, which means lower blood pressure and better heart health.
Your Brain Stays Sharp: The Rush University Medical Center found that highly social seniors were 70% less likely to experience cognitive decline. Conversation, laughter, even the occasional friendly debate, keeps your brain active.
Your Mood Lifts Naturally: Socializing triggers the release of oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which helps combat stress, anxiety, and depression. Even a ten-minute chat with a friend can improve your mood.
Practical Ways to Stay Social
Maybe you’re thinking, “How the heck am I going to find new friends at this age?” or “I’ve always been an introvert; how am I expected to go out and socialize now?”
Fair enough. But, in my defense, you don’t need a hundred friends, and you don’t need to pretend to be an extrovert. You just need a few meaningful connections. And there are more ways to find them than you think:
Start a Weekly Call Schedule: Pick one friend or family member for each day of the week. Make it a habit. Even a ten-minute call can brighten your day and theirs.
Join a Community Group: . Local libraries, senior centers, and community centers often host free classes, book clubs, or hobby groups. If you love knitting, find a knitting group. If you love chess, find a chess club.
Reconnect with Old Friends: Say, “I was thinking about you. How have you been?” More often than not, they’re just as happy to hear from you as you are to reach out.
Make Your Meals Social: Invite someone over once a week for lunch or dinner. You don’t have to worry about going all out. Even a simple bowl of miso soup can become a shared memory.
Take Up Group Exercise: This is a double win. Not only are you improving your health, but you’re doing it with others. And one of the best ways to do this is through yoga; a practice that takes the best part of physical fitness and combines it with an amazing social element.
Thanks for this, Alison! When my community finally gets going, I believe the main focus will be loneliness and loss, remedies for these challenges. Of course the community itself will be a remedy, with joyful solutions.
Kate, I love that so much—“joyful solutions.” That phrase could be a whole mission statement in itself. You’re absolutely right: just the act of coming together creates its own healing. Loneliness and loss are heavy topics, but when we bring light to them through connection, community, and laughter, the weight starts to lift. I can’t wait to see your community blossom—it already sounds like a beautiful sanctuary in the making.
Hi Alison,
Great post filled with some great information. Considering that my wife is fully retired (and that I’m working this online business of mine), it definitely brings forward some great arguments about how we should live our retirement years.
Just to prove how right you are: I literally have to “book” time with my dad – who’s 85 by the way – so that we can spend time together; he’s just so always busy within the community where he lives!
That’s fantastic Marc—and honestly, it made me smile! Your dad sounds like he’s absolutely *thriving* in retirement, which is exactly the kind of story more people need to hear. Community doesn’t just fill your calendar—it fills your spirit, too. And it’s beautiful that you’re noticing this now while shaping your own version of “retirement” with your online business. There’s so much power in designing these years with intention, connection, and joy. Here’s to building a lifestyle where “booked and busy” means surrounded by purpose and people who matter. 😊
Hi Alison – I recently considered an answer to a question posed to me that you have addressed in this blog post. The question involved was what was one of my biggest fears. Of course, the common answers like running out of financial resources, poor health, loss of loved ones, and other more commonly expressed fears came o mind. But for me, it is loneliness. I look around and I’m so grateful for who I get to spend my time with… but it is my choice, and I am grateful for that choice. But I spent too much time worrying about being alone. With your practical advice in this blog post, I can get past some of those worries by being proactive and setting myself up for success in my social circumstances, so I don’t worry so much about being alone but appreciate what I’ve got. Thank you, Allison!
Ernie, what you shared touched me deeply. Naming loneliness as a core fear takes courage, and it’s also so relatable. I think many of us feel that ache but don’t often say it out loud. The fact that you’re choosing to appreciate the people around you and also staying proactive about nurturing connections – that’s powerful. You’re not just waiting for life to happen—you’re shaping it. I’m honored that this post resonated, and I’m cheering you on as you keep building a life rich with meaningful company.
Hey Alison, this post really got me thinking! The way you tie isolation to health risks is eye-opening, and I love your positive spin on taking action. I’ve been feeling a bit cut off lately, so I’m inspired to reach out more. I’m so bad about doing that, so I need to get better. Life gets in the way, and you lose track of people. Your yoga idea sounds awesome, and I’m definitely checking out your book for some easy moves we can try at home. Thanks for the nudge to stay social and healthy!
Meredith
Meredith, thank you for this honest and heartfelt comment. Life really does have a sneaky way of pulling us out of rhythm with our people, doesn’t it? But the fact that you’re noticing that and ready to make a shift says everything. Start small—one text, one yoga stretch, one moment of reaching out. It builds. And I promise, your future self will thank you for deciding to reweave those threads of connection. I hope the book gives you a gentle way back in. You’ve got this 💛
I love how you connect socializing to better health and well-being. It’s so easy to underestimate how important connection is. I’ve not been very social myself recently and I have to admit, I’ve not been as happy. Your tips are super practical and easy to implement, and I love the reminder that yoga can be a social activity too! I have found a class for me and Ava so I’m going to go and give it a try! x
Sarah, I’m so glad this resonated with you—and how exciting that you’ve already found a class to go to with Ava! That’s such a beautiful step. You’re right: we often underestimate the quiet magic of connection until we feel the absence of it. But you’re making the shift back with intention, and that’s where the transformation begins. Wishing you joy, laughter, and maybe a few happy wobbles on the yoga mat 🧘♀️ Let me know how it goes!
Alison, after my dad passed, I found myself pulling away from people without even realising it. What helped was sharing my weight loss and health journey on TikTok, it gave me purpose and brought me into daily contact with others, even if just virtually. I now make time to talk to family, comment on others’ posts, and go to the gym with my son, which gives us both something to look forward to. Staying connected, even in small ways, has done more for my mental and physical health than I ever expected.